Dear Friend,
I've only seen you twice
But I've believed since forever
That we were meant to be together
There was that beautiful day
When we first met
A few weeks back
And honestly I was a little too
Overwhelmed
To give you the welcome you deserved
But I saw you there
And smiled
And thought "Jesus,
We're gonna have a good time"
And the doctor said it would be three months
That I had to keep the hood down
Couldn't go peeking at the engine
So for these past three weeks so far
I've laid here thinking about you
With December 22nd circled on my calendar
But kept my attention elsewhere
On lips and walls
And the endless task of keeping myself open
Preparing for your reveal
This is all for you,
I want you to know,
Like Bryan Adams,
Everything I Do...
Because one day I want us to be close
One day I want us to be besties
And I promise to be good to you
Treat you right and treat you often
Like a lady deserves
Then today, again
the kind doctor introduced us
And I was so looking forward to seeing you
To getting to know you better
But when he pulled you open
I didn't recognIze you at all
For where you ought to be
Instead
He pointed to a mound of Dead Tissue.
"Necrosis", he called you
Which isn't your name
But sounds like someone's gothic cousin
Who listens to Sisters of Mercy
And drives a Hearse.
Necrosis. Dead tissue.
Not possible.
Everything on the outside was looking good
Everything good but under the hood
And how could I have known
you were dying on me
When I wasn't even allowed
to look in on you.
And like a mask,
Or cocoon
The good doctor told me
You'd fall away
And reveal yourself anew
Maybe smaller but just as mighty
But laying there with a mirror in my shaking hand
I could only see your pale and stoic face
Cold and unfeeling
And it frightened me
To think I'd lost you
Lost that lovin' feelin'
Before we'd even really found each other at all.
And there on the table
Legs spread wide
My face became as blanched as yours
And I heard from somewhere far away the words "don't worry"
But they meant nothing
Only sounds, syllables
As I stared at you in grief-stricken horror
while explanations of what's normal
genetic
expected
cosmetic
Flew over my disbelieving head
Now that I'm alone
And it's just me and you
Color has returned to my cheeks
Red, hot, and wet
like you on the day we first met
Like my eyes are now
as I write you this plea:
Trust me, Clit
I of all people understand
the chrysalis
Hardened exterior,
but blossoming beneath
Necrosis. Dead Tissue.
Please persevere.
Please.
The reward is great, I promise.
If I can do it so can you
Just please
Please
Come back to me anew.